CMPC #5: Sacrament of Matrimony

We have Father Simon joining us in our 5th session of CMPC because it was about Sacrament of Matrimony. Father Simon explained to us the meaning & reason of having this sacrament. Before we start our class, we had a photography session. I am not going to elaborate on who is who, but to just show you guys the lovely couples whom have been attending this course with us.

7 lovely couples + 1 leading couple + Father Simon
Sacrament is an outward sign of an inner grace. It is a sign that bring invisible changes within us. We need to go through sacraments, so that we can be sure that we are in contact with God. We need to have faith and love to go through sacraments.

Jesus himself has invented sacraments so that we may see what is unseen. This was explained in John 9:1-12:

As He walked along, He saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God's works might be revealed in him. We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is ocming when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.

When He had said this, He spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva and spread the mud on the man's eyes, saying to him, "Go, wash in the pool of Siloam". Then he went and washed and came back able to see. The neighbors and those who had seen him before as a beggar to ask, "Is this not the man who used to sit and beg?" Some were saying, "It is he". Others were saying, "No, but it is someone like him." He kept saying, "I am the man." But they kept asking him, "Thn how were your eyes opened?"

He answered, "The man called Jesus made mud, spread it on my eyes, and said to me, "Go to Siloam and wash." Then I went and washed and received my sight. They said to him, "Where is He?" He said, "I do not know."

Matrimony is the sacrament made by Jesus Christ to sanctify (make holy) the lawful union of a Christian man and a Christian woman.

"Being subject one to another, in the fear of Christ. Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church. He is the savior of His body. Therefore, as the Church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things.

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the Church, and delivered Himself up for it: That He might sanctify it, cleansing it by the laver of water in the word of life: That He might present it to Himself a glorious Church not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy, and without blemish. So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, as also Christ doth the Church: Because we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh. This is a great sacrament; but I speak in Christ and in the Church.

"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular love his wife as himself: and let the wife fear her husband." ~Ephesians 5:21-33

First Commentator

Congratulations, Marzie! and thank you for all your comments love!!! :)

Summary only...

Family Planning

Last Thursday, M & I attended a 3 hours talk on Family Planning at Assunta Hospital. This was part of our CMPC. I had to say this was the most interesting talk i've ever attended. Even though we were both feeling a little fatigue that night but the speaker had our full attention during that 3 hours.

We were taught of the male & female reproductive system, latest contraceptive methods available and latest way of abortion - in which the church is strongly against abortion, before being introduced to the main topic: Billings Ovulation Method (BOM), an effective natural method of planning your family. It is based on the correlation of physiological events of the female reproductive cycle with observations made at the vulva. This method is being used in China and is said to be 90% accurate.

Diagram taken from http://www.nlm.nih.gov/MEDLINEPLUS/ency/imagepages/19471.htm
Interesting facts I've learn:
1) The life span of sperm is 1 day in dry place, and 3-5 days in wet place.
2) A male is fertile all his life long since the day he reached puberty.
3) The testicle is the ideal organ to store & produce sperm because of the temperature. That is why, male are advisable not to wear tight underwear/ pants to allow some room for breathing.
4) A male produces 1000 sperms every second.
5) Not all sperms being produced are healthy. There will be some with big head, some with crooked tail, etc. Only the healthy one will be able to swim to the egg and fertilized.


Diagram taken from http://www.britannica.com
Interesting facts I've learn:
1) The life span of ovum is 1 day.
2) A female is generally most fertile a few days before, during, and after ovulation.
3) Most female ovulate on day 14th from the first day of her menses.

In BOM, we especially the females were taught to recognise the presence of musuc by the wet/ slippery/ lubricatuve sensation & visual observation, and to relate it to her level of fertility and to apply certain rules.

Homework: We were given a charting book to keep record of our observations made at the vulva. The next follow up would be three weeks later. They will then explain your charting.



p/s: I wish i could explain more in details to you guys but I have limited knowledge on BOM and it is hard to explain here. If you are interested, you can contact them yourselves.

Contacts - Natural Fertility Awareness Service of Malaysia
Petaling Jaya & Selangor
English Speaking:
Dr. Celine Pereira Assunta Hospital
03-7782 3762 (H)/ celinadiana@hotmail.com

Mr. & Mrs. Matthew & Serina Chong
012-398 1523/ mattser@pd.jaring.my

Mr. & Mrs. Nicholas & Honey See
012-379 0703/ honeychoo@gmail.com

Tamil Speaking:
Mrs. Cecilia Anthonysamy
013-637 0079

Mandarin Speaking:
Mrs. Magdalene Cheah
012-289 5637/ magdalenecsm@yahoo.com


First Commentator
***5th time in a row***

Congratulations, Marzie! We Love Ya!!! :)

Summary only...

CMPC #4: Sex In Marriage

Most peoples avoid talking about sex in their marriage. But it is really something we should talk about. In the world's perspective, sex is an activity based and it's for self-fulfillment, where as it should be a commitment and a way of saying both of you are united and belong exclusively for each others.

Sex is a day long love making. Allow me quote from the booklet that was given to us to further elaborate on this statement:

You touch each other alot. You are communicating - if not by touch, by words. You talk about anything & everything all the time. You listen to each other, because what is going on inside the other person is so important to you......The more you are really involved with each other all day long in every way, the more exciting & delightful sex will be for you two.

Again, it is back to communication. We must always communicate with our partner to know & understand what is happening in them. Sexual relationship runs into problem as soon as it becomes an activity in which both parties are seeking individual goals and satisfactions.

Homework: To finish the rest of the booklet.




First Commentator
***4th time in a row***

Congratulations, Marzie! We Love Ya!!! :)

Summary only...

CMPC #3: God & Marriage

In our third session of CMPC, we talked about God's desire for our marriage and are we ready to give ourselves to our fiance. We were then asked to answer a questionaire consists of 9 questions. One of the instruction was to wrote a love letter to your fiance starting from your fondest hopes & dreams for your life together. As usual, couples were asked to do this separately, then come together to discuss about your answers.

When M & I gathered together for exchange of answers & love letter, I was quite excited. Anxiously, I asked for the love letter first. I read the first line and it was his usual style of starting a love letter to me, "Hi darling, time passes by so fast...". Then as i read on, i felt something, something was tinkling my heart. I do not know why but I had tears in my eyes when i've finished reading his letter to me. And my voice was shaky. I can't explain how i really felt at that moment, I was speechless. I just hugged him tightly and whispered "I love you" at his ear. It was his sincerity & his love that I felt from his words. He has really touched my heart. For the first time, I felt like crying after reading a love letter from M. One of the thing that he said is, "I am so looking forward to write this letter to you... ...i really hope that we can build a family together,"

Thank you darling! I love you! :)

During the sharing, every couples has their own stories to share. It was great to know about others, and i could relate to all their stories because it happened to me & M too.

M & I have a lot of special moments, too much that we couldn't recall. But it is important to remember your special moments, at least the most special one that you've experienced with your hubby. During the downs in your marriage, this special moment can help you to bring back the love feeling you had for your hubby.

Homework: To finish the rest of the booklet.

First Commentator

Congratulations, Marzie! and thank you for your comments love! :)

Summary only...

CMPC #2: Communication

Communication is essential in a happy marriage. But becareful, there's a big differences between conversation & communication. Conversation is a head-to-head talk, eg; daily chit-chatting, where else communication is a heart-to-heart talk. It reveals the inner most feelings of oneself.

Well, I don't think we have any major problem in this area because I am always revealing my inner feelings to M, and I am always pestering M to tell me his inner feeling. But of course, at times, M would tell me his inner feelings voluntarily. :) He's the type of guy who would keep everything to himself. If he thinks by telling out his feelings, it's not gonna make any changes to the situation, he'll keep quiet. (This is wrong, darling! Remember, B & T said, we must always communicate with each others! ;))

There's also differences between hearing & listening. Hearing is receiving words, where else listening is taking the effort and totally understand the other person.

Like previous session, we were given a booklet and asked to do the first part on the spot. The first part was about rating you & your fiancee according to the characteristics in the list. We were fast in completing this task, compared to previous week. :)

B & T asked all of us to share. No one escape from this sharing. M & I were the last couple to share. I was having a sore throat, so M did all the talking. (Thanks, darling!) He started off with, "This is a good exercise. We all have give high rating to all the good ones but the bad one..." before M could finish his sentence, T said, "hide". And M followed, "hide. No, not hide, it's just that we point out the good ones as it can motivational."

Then T continued on and said that we should not hide the bad points from our partner as sooner or later she/ he is gonna know. It is better to be honest. She was going on & on, and we were just listening. I knew she had M the wrong way but i was too hurtful to speak because of my sore throat. I think everyone in the room thought that M & I haven't been very honest with each others.

On our journey back home, I asked M what exactly he wanted to say during the sharing. And he told me this, "I was referring not only about us, but all of the couples in the room. This exercise was good because it is sort of like a compliment to our partners and it could motivates us to go further." At the back of my mind, I was thinking, "I thought so!" :)

FYI, the characteristics were physically attractive, intelligent, fun to be with, humorous and etc. So now, you understand why M has said it is sort of like a compliment to our partners. :)

Homework: To finish the rest of the booklet.

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CMPC #1: Marriage Today

Yesterday was our first session of CMPC. There were seven couples altogether including us and the leading couple who are helping us through this CMPC are Byran & Tracy. They seems to be a lovely husband & wife indeed! We were all instantly connected, maybe it was because we all have the same objective which is preparing ourselves for our wedding. :)

Our first subject was "Marriage Today". Basically it was about what we think about our partner and marriage. We were given a little booklet with 8 pages altogether. Then we were asked to answer the first two pages separately with the ladies sitting comfortable in the sofa and the gentlemen sitting on the stool outside. After 20mins, we were asked to go back to our partner and discuss about our answers.

The questions were what is the characteristics of your fiance and your own, what is marriage and how marriage should be. Well, thank God these were not subjective questions. We do have options to choose from. Like for the question 1, we were given a list of characteristics and we were only to write our initial beside the charateristics that applied. Easy right!

We were not surprise at our answers as we got most of it correct, except for one, which is 'talkative'. All along, i thought i was a talkative person but M doesn't think so. Phew! it's such a relief to know about that. At least now, I can go on and on and on without worries. lol!

After the discussion between us, we were then asked to share with the other seven couples. Everyone were reluctant to share. The first couple to share were A & F. I cannot disclose much about them here as everything that we shared in CMPC is P&C. After them, Tracy asked who's next. Her eyes were going from couple to couple. I had a strong urge to share but I am afraid that M would not want to share. He's always the quiet one and refuse to stand out in a crowd. Tracy asked again, and her eyes were going second round from couple to couple. Everyone were extremely quiet.

Suddenly, M raised his hand and broke the silence, "Well, I have something to share." He went on and told everyone that we have been together for 8 years and we had each others correctly.He said that we do have arguements but it only lasted 5 mins each. He said time heals everything. Time as in the time we've spent together.

I didn't understand what he meant by "Time heals everything". But Bryan did. At the end of our session, Bryan said that love is like what M has said, Time heals everything. He added, **"Love is a choice. M choose to make a decision to love J and hence not to get mad at her for long."

I was really surprised that M has willingly offered to share. As I've said, he's the quiet one and would not speak in public. His action has proved to me that he is serious about this course and are willing to do anything to keep our relationship strong. This is a reassurance. I am really proud of him. And i am loving him more for that! :)

Homework: We were asked to complete the little booklet before the next session. Consists of three articles and 5-6 questions for each.

** i couldn't remember very well what Bryan has said. & this is the closest meanng i could get.

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Catholic Marriage Preparation Course

M & I will be starting our CMPC this coming Saturday, the 27th. It will be held in a couple's house at PJ. The CMPC stretches over a period pf 6 weeks; one session per week and the duration of each session is approx. 2 hours.

This course is a pre-requisite for marriage in the Catholic Church. When you & your partner have decided to get married, you will need to register at your parish office. M & I registered 1 1/2 years in advance before our planned wedding date. It is better to registered earlier because you will need to wait till there are enough couples to start the CMPC. We waited for 3 months.

This is going to be our first step of our marriage preparation.

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